You want to know something that's kind of annoying? The English language. Who came up with it, or whatever it is the world uses in this age and era? You have words and words and words, and all this time you have no idea what you're doing.
Is there anyone monitoring the English language? Let's assume there is, and call him Joe.
You're not doing your job, Joe!!
First of all, you have...SAT words. Intense vocabulary. Words that are tens of letters long that must be memorized and studied and understood. But I seem to recall that once you already have a decent something to perform or play as something, you don't need to make another one! So why are there words like "deleterious" which just means "harmful" or "fallacious" which means "incorrect"? What was wrong with keeping the words that you already had and saying "Done!"? Why was that so hard? And after you've beat yourself up, stabbed and jabbed all of these words into your head, and graduated from college, you realize...
No one on God's Earth uses them!!! No one! You've literally committed yourself to memorizing these long, unimportant words that you won't use in any situation. If you write something, why are you gonna use all of these complicated words that only someone extremely educated will understand while you have an entire arsenal of words that everyone understands? Example: anybody remember Charlotte's Web, the book turned into a movie with that pig and that spider? Anyway, at some point, the spider says to the pig:
"Salutations."
And the poor pig replies:
"What's that?!?!?!?!"
And the spider says:
"Just a fancy way of saying hello."
SAY FREAKIN' HELLO!!!!!
Secondly, Joe, why do you go back completely on your own rules? Plurals, for instance. Apple? Apples. Door? Doors. Then, Joe says: "Hmmmmm. I don't like how 'gooses' sounds, so I'm making it a special case. What? No, no, humanity, you won't ADAPT to saying the word 'gooses' until it becomes comfortable, just like what you'll do with every other word. No, no, how about 'geese' for the plural of goose, huh? 'Geeeeeeeeeeese'. See how it rolls off the tongue?"
Later, in the Batcave....
Joe: "Whuh? No, the plural of moose will be simply 'moose'."
Facepalm.
Joe, Joe, the people want to know: after your utterly ridiculous decision, you know, the 'geese' thing, what was wrong with...'meese'? Seriously, don't tell me I'm wrong, true believer, I am making PERFECT sense! If the plural of goose is geese, why the crap isn't the plural of moose 'meese'? You know what, forget it, I'm not even putting it between quotations any more: meese. It's a word, because you literally SAID so, Joe, so deal with it. Meese is a word. I'm totally getting a customized shirt that says moose/meese. If you ever see me and we start talking about meese, expect me to say the word a bajillion times.
Joe, do your job. Please. We need you. I'm not the first and only guy in the world whose mind hasn't at least crossed this. But you know how nowadays we laugh at our ancestors for saying "thy" and "thou" and stuff like that (believe it or not, those weren't underlined in red, unlike meese...)? Yeah, well I'm warning you, Joe, give the world a few decades and your grand-kid's grand-kids'll be laughing at how we never said meese...until now.
Until next we meet. Save the meese.
"Salutations."
And the poor pig replies:
"What's that?!?!?!?!"
And the spider says:
"Just a fancy way of saying hello."
SAY FREAKIN' HELLO!!!!!
Secondly, Joe, why do you go back completely on your own rules? Plurals, for instance. Apple? Apples. Door? Doors. Then, Joe says: "Hmmmmm. I don't like how 'gooses' sounds, so I'm making it a special case. What? No, no, humanity, you won't ADAPT to saying the word 'gooses' until it becomes comfortable, just like what you'll do with every other word. No, no, how about 'geese' for the plural of goose, huh? 'Geeeeeeeeeeese'. See how it rolls off the tongue?"
Later, in the Batcave....
Joe: "Whuh? No, the plural of moose will be simply 'moose'."
Facepalm.
Joe, Joe, the people want to know: after your utterly ridiculous decision, you know, the 'geese' thing, what was wrong with...'meese'? Seriously, don't tell me I'm wrong, true believer, I am making PERFECT sense! If the plural of goose is geese, why the crap isn't the plural of moose 'meese'? You know what, forget it, I'm not even putting it between quotations any more: meese. It's a word, because you literally SAID so, Joe, so deal with it. Meese is a word. I'm totally getting a customized shirt that says moose/meese. If you ever see me and we start talking about meese, expect me to say the word a bajillion times.
Joe, do your job. Please. We need you. I'm not the first and only guy in the world whose mind hasn't at least crossed this. But you know how nowadays we laugh at our ancestors for saying "thy" and "thou" and stuff like that (believe it or not, those weren't underlined in red, unlike meese...)? Yeah, well I'm warning you, Joe, give the world a few decades and your grand-kid's grand-kids'll be laughing at how we never said meese...until now.
Until next we meet. Save the meese.
Moose? Meese, scumbag.
