We all agree on a few things in the world of movies. Number one, child actors suck. I mean, the Home Alone kid's scared face was so fake I think anyone who picked up a DVD version of the movie wanted to know what the kid thought was so funny about burglars. Number two, every main character (key word "main") in any movie involving guns is basically Neo until the end if the directors decided to kill him. Bullets are allergic to good guys. Ask Batman; I mean, he's been doing this for like fifty years. And here's something I'm sure has crossed your mind but hasn't quite dinged! yet. It's this: some actors just aren't their characters.
There have been SO MANY movies in which the directors just chose the wrong guy/girl. Here's an example of a perfect choice: Tony Stark in the Iron Man and Avengers movies. I don't even call him whatever his name is (I know what it is but I refuse to say it). I just call him Tony Stark. Here's an example of the wrong guy. ICEMAN in ANY X-MEN MOVIE.
What is this actor's name? I don't care (I actually don't know it this time. heehee.). So far I know he has a twin brother and he is definitely DEPRESSED. I mean, for real. He's going through something.
See, I do watch a lot of TV. And I love Sci-Fi. It's my JAM (not as in toast). Star Wars, Tron, Falling Skies, Fringe, Alphas, you NAME it son. I've seen it all. Except Star Trek. That cow snot can go and hang itself for all I care. And, back to the Iceman actor (and his amazing TWIN!!!) they both starred in an episode of Fringe, and one of them in Smallville. In the Fringe episode, surprise surprise, one of them is some nut job and his brother is stuck in amber. His brother is a murderer or something. And they both have problems. DEPRESSION. In the Smallville episode (you know, about a teenage Superman growing up) he's this socially awkward kid with a crappy life, disapproving parents, nerd status, and when he accidentally gains Superman's powers through electric current (I know, right!? What the crap?!) he becomes dictatorial and out of control. DEPRESSION. This guy is just good at acting like a depressed, unappreciated, outcast individual. He might even be like that in real life (him and his amazing TWIN!!).
So why. On Earth. Was he cast. AND IS BEING CAST IN THE UPCOMING MOVIE (Days of Future Past). AS ICEMAN!!!!?!?!?! Why is he Iceman?!!?!! Do you KNOW Iceman, dude who chose the actors for the X-Men movies? HUH?! Read comics for a change, you ape! Iceman, aka Bobby Drake, is the funny guy. He's ecstatic. The joker. The guy who has an awesome power and knows it, and makes sure the rest of the world does, too! He's THE MAN. He's cool (pun intended, human race! PUN INTENDED!). He's fun. He's bright.
So why did you choose depression guy? I mean, this dude's FACE is depressed. It's bored and empty of emotion. It's actually almost SERIOUS. Iceman is not SERIOUS! Not all the time! I did not like any of the X-Men movies that much, and one of the biggest reasons besides Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch's absence and the stupid sunglasses-phone (it's just stupid I hated it) was Iceman's character. Heck, in the movie, when his parents find out he's a mutant, EVERYONE'S depressed. He doesn't crack a single joke, doesn't smile enough, if at all, and dates ROGUE. When did Iceman date ROGUE? You can't even date Rogue! You can't touch her and she can't touch you! Have fun talking for the rest of your life! This dude just...aint Iceman, yo. He aint Iceman.
Another thing: I know perfection isn't really out there. No one looks perfect or acts perfect or just is perfect or anything. But when you get Superman, in his return to the big screen, in the EPIC movie Man of Steel, and you have our hearts pumping and our emotions swirling and our hands clinging to our seats, don't make him scream out loud in regret and show off his jacked up teeth. I mean, the dude's teeth were not good. At all. He had the black, oily hair. The red cape. The "I'm awesome" demeanor. But then the dude has jacked up teeth? I mean, one was twisted and one was backwards and I was just shocked at how bad they were. Of all the things that got messed up during your fight (which shouldn't be anything, really) his teeth got messed up? Don't use that as an excuse. Get good dental care with the money you made being Superman, you donut!
There have been SO MANY movies in which the directors just chose the wrong guy/girl. Here's an example of a perfect choice: Tony Stark in the Iron Man and Avengers movies. I don't even call him whatever his name is (I know what it is but I refuse to say it). I just call him Tony Stark. Here's an example of the wrong guy. ICEMAN in ANY X-MEN MOVIE.
What is this actor's name? I don't care (I actually don't know it this time. heehee.). So far I know he has a twin brother and he is definitely DEPRESSED. I mean, for real. He's going through something.
See, I do watch a lot of TV. And I love Sci-Fi. It's my JAM (not as in toast). Star Wars, Tron, Falling Skies, Fringe, Alphas, you NAME it son. I've seen it all. Except Star Trek. That cow snot can go and hang itself for all I care. And, back to the Iceman actor (and his amazing TWIN!!!) they both starred in an episode of Fringe, and one of them in Smallville. In the Fringe episode, surprise surprise, one of them is some nut job and his brother is stuck in amber. His brother is a murderer or something. And they both have problems. DEPRESSION. In the Smallville episode (you know, about a teenage Superman growing up) he's this socially awkward kid with a crappy life, disapproving parents, nerd status, and when he accidentally gains Superman's powers through electric current (I know, right!? What the crap?!) he becomes dictatorial and out of control. DEPRESSION. This guy is just good at acting like a depressed, unappreciated, outcast individual. He might even be like that in real life (him and his amazing TWIN!!).
So why. On Earth. Was he cast. AND IS BEING CAST IN THE UPCOMING MOVIE (Days of Future Past). AS ICEMAN!!!!?!?!?! Why is he Iceman?!!?!! Do you KNOW Iceman, dude who chose the actors for the X-Men movies? HUH?! Read comics for a change, you ape! Iceman, aka Bobby Drake, is the funny guy. He's ecstatic. The joker. The guy who has an awesome power and knows it, and makes sure the rest of the world does, too! He's THE MAN. He's cool (pun intended, human race! PUN INTENDED!). He's fun. He's bright.
This is Iceman. See? He's freaking happy.
He aint Iceman. Look at his face. He's more depressing than Rogue.
Another thing: I know perfection isn't really out there. No one looks perfect or acts perfect or just is perfect or anything. But when you get Superman, in his return to the big screen, in the EPIC movie Man of Steel, and you have our hearts pumping and our emotions swirling and our hands clinging to our seats, don't make him scream out loud in regret and show off his jacked up teeth. I mean, the dude's teeth were not good. At all. He had the black, oily hair. The red cape. The "I'm awesome" demeanor. But then the dude has jacked up teeth? I mean, one was twisted and one was backwards and I was just shocked at how bad they were. Of all the things that got messed up during your fight (which shouldn't be anything, really) his teeth got messed up? Don't use that as an excuse. Get good dental care with the money you made being Superman, you donut!
MY TEEEEEEEEEETH!!!
I'm very disappointed at these things that can be avoided so easily. How could that be Iceman? Why didn't you put a green screen or something on Superman's teeth (I don't know a whole lot about green screens)? Fix these movies. Please. I really want to see the new X-Men movie...but I might not be able to.
ps: I guess Hugh Jackman looks like Wolverine, a lot, but I'm not...scared of him like I should be. Or intimidated. Like, when Hugh Jackman goes snikt! and Wolverine on TV goes snikt!, I find myself having nightmares of the cartoon. Wolverine is scary and gruff. Hugh Jackman just has the right hair.
Until next we meet.
