Welcome to yet another sub-area-thingy of Force Lightning, and probably one of my favorites: WTForce! Here, I ruthlessly dissect the Star Wars franchise and come up with my own theories, exhaust myself with rants, and basically make you question everything you thought you knew about Star Wars. But remember this, young Padawans: I do this with love. In case you couldn't tell, I LOVE STAR WARS. In my business, though, nothing is safe. My wrath is unbiased!!!
A few heads-ups, though:
Firstly, everything I write in here is from the point of view of a guy who has only been exposed to the following: All six live-action films (the ChristMESS Special can burn), the entire Clone Wars animated series, both Clone Wars animated shorts, a Darth Bane book (and counting! That dude is beast!), and some general tidbits of expanded universe info. If you can't handle that, please move on. I've got some pretty deep stuff coming up next. Like, Sarlacc deep. Also, some revered icons WILL be insulted.
Secondly...I totally forgot, but if I remember I'll edit this. My bad.
LET'S DO THIS!!!
*ahem*
So, as you can see from the title, I've discovered that there's something a little off about the Jedi. Well, three specific Jedi, to be exact. Here's some nostalgia:
"Ummm...not crazy anymore, he is?"
"Yeah, he does look pretty chill for someone who committed galactic genocide for half his life, doesn't he?"
Remember dat? We wuz all like "wuuuut", and den we saw Anakin and we wuz all like "aaaaaww, he a good guy now." Nobody questioned NUTHIN'. We just blindly accepted that Anakin deserved to be a ghost, just like his old pals Masters Kenobi and Yoda do, because the "good" Anakin "died" and then he "resurfaced" when the "bad" Vaderkin actually died and then he "died" again...or something. Basically, we kinda learned something from this: Jedi turn to ghosts when they die. We assume that they then drift through the galaxy forever in eternal peace as a reward for fulfilling their ultimate mission: keeping the peace. Marvelous.
Then where. The Force. Did I go wrong?!
Oh, yeah, sorry Mace, forgot about you for a second. Poor Mace makes an excellent point, though. Where the heck is his ghost, or any other Jedi's ghost for that matter? I mean, they were all ruthlessly murdered on a galactic scale during Order 66, so how come a butt-load of ghosts aren't just wandering around? Now, you could say that we, the audience, were only shown three ghosts and then were expected to say "yeah, we get it. Ghosts.". Or, you could say we saw those three specific ghosts in that specific scene because they had been affiliated with Luke in their past. Perhaps your loved ones appear as ghosts only to you after their deaths (if they were Jedi), which would explain why no one besides Luke saw the ghosts.
But I prefer to think more dangerously (and besides, those are your opinions, not mine. Stop thinking so much and keep reading.).
Let's look at the ghosts: Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Anakin. Three great Jedi Masters, known for their acts of valor, their wisdom, and their undying (heh) devotion to the Light Side of the Force and all who fall under its protection. Yet we, as the audience, never see or hear of any other Jedi Masters wandering around as immortal phantoms, even Jedi who were as great as, if not greater than, the three aforementioned. I mean, look at Mace. He was a pretty decent guy. He sniffed out the Emperor's plot and made haste to rid the galaxy of the Sith...forever. That's some pretty eternal-bliss-deserving stuff right there! So where the heck is he? We all know he's dead. He got murdered by Sidious after... oh my God. Wow. That's right, folks, widen those eyes as the realization hits you. Mace Windu did not accomplish his ultimate task as a Jedi Knight before getting thrown out a window by Darth Sidious...right after Ana-frea-kin Skywalker cut his And-frea-kin hand off!!! That's right. Anakin Skywalker, the dude who supposedly reverted to the Light Side and became a "good guy" right before his death, had previously chopped off Mace Windu's hand during Mace's attempt to rid the galaxy of evil. Anakin's sins didn't stop there, either, oh no, they kept right on rolling, too. He immediately runs off to the Jedi Temple and straight-up murders like ten Jedi-kids.
Okay, slight exaggeration, but still! Children, dude?!
After that (as in, after he gets his whiny other-word-for-donkey-that-starts-with-"a" whupped by Obi-Wan) he leads the Empire on a galactic Jedi culling that basically Forces them, the good guys, into hiding. This dude is the definition of a villain. He betrays his friends, his beliefs, and his, y'know, wife and kids, all to...well, save his wife and kids (prequels, why?). For some reason, though, the Force (or whatever) decided that he, Anakin Skywalker, Darth Ana-frea-kin Vader, deserved eternal, ghostly peace while Mace Windu (the black guy) and every other Jedi who never did anything wrong got screwed and thrown to the metaphorical wolves.
"Metaphorical".
Unless...
Okay, anyone who reads comics knows that, in the long haul, immortality sucks. It just sucks. Yo would watch everyone and everything you know just die, over and over and over again, forever. You would do the same thing forever. It would drive most people insane.
Just ask this guy.
Plus, in this case, you're a ghost. Ghosts can't touch anything or feel anything. They can just, like, watch. FOREVER. THAT SUCKS.
So let's assume, for a teensy-weensy, midi-chlorian-sized second, that immortality is seen as just that, a curse. A condemnation. A punishment. "You will wander the galaxy forever, doomed to observe the horrible seeds you've sown and the ones they will sow and the ones they will sow, as punishment for your sins." In Vaderkin's case, this actually makes since. I am also assuming that this curse only works on technical Jedi, or anyone who accepts and follows the Light Side (remember, Vaderkin "technically" switched sides before his permanent shut-eye). This would explain why we saw zero Sith ghosts. I mean, come one, there's gotta be a worse punishment for them than this. The Jedi get off easy, in the Force's definition of the word. Should a Jedi die after a life of complete, utter disappointment, failing to uphold vows and responsibilities, and destroying the lives and situations of others, on purpose, that Jedi is condemned to eternal ghostliness (which sucks, btw. This theory only holds if you believe immortality as an intangible ghost sucks).
So, yeah, Vaderkin deserves that. Okay.
What about Obi-Wan and Yoda?
To that, I say...my very first "to be continued"!!!
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