Listen, I've known Sonic the Hedgehog since I could talk, and I've always been more of a TV guy than a gaming guy, so you can kind of see where the problem is here. I mean, it's not like Sonic didn't have any TV series. I can only remember watching some of Sonic X, but for some reason I never got into it. I guess I always wanted to see something a bit more like this (you don't have to watch it; I'm just trying to make a point. You should watch it, though...just watch it!):
The beginning of the videogame Sonic: Unleashed.
Yes, I know I'm picky when it comes to visuals, but it's not like this type of animation (close to it) hasn't been done on TV. Have you seen the Clone Wars?
Anyway, the story involving Sonic and friends isn't that important to me. I just like the furry rascals. They're a classical "save-the-day" bunch we see all the time, but the total uniqueness of their designs are icing on the cake. A hedgehog with super-speed? A two-tailed flying fox? RAZOR SHARP KNUCKLES? I didn't what a hedgehog, echidna or knuckles were before Sonic (games, comics, etc.). As long as they're doing their thing and looking the part, I'll always love it.
Just make sure you don't wreck them to the point of no return!
I saw the headlines of the new Sonic Boom series that's coming soon or whatever. Apparently, there's gonna be a game based on the TV show, or a TV Show based on the game, or they'll both need each other, or SOMETHING. I don't really care. I'm here about the show; I could give less craps about the game (Shadow the Hedgehog and Zero Gravity; that's it). If you're interested, here's what they're doin'.
Now, the show's gonna air on Disney XD . Disney XD is the "not dumb sit-coms" section of Disney (okay, they show re-runs of old sit-coms, but it's mostly the stuff Disney calls cool). When I heard about this show last year, they had some silhouettes of the character designs they were going for:
Oh, no...
Umm, last I checked, gloves don't grow finger holes (Knuckles...), mutant echidnas don't have growth spurts (Knuckles...!), and steroids don't grow on trees (KNUKCLES...!). Why? WHY? Just make a show, FOR ONCE, without spraying what you wish a character looked like all over our brains and saying "deal with it"! You just couldn't leave them alone, could you? Oh, well. Knuckles is a strong guy, why not make him buff? What the heck. Survivable.
And then there's this:
Don't give me "work in progress". You already released a trailer, you jacks!
Okay, no. Knuckles, you didn't need to change, but if it was only you, and it wasn't a horrible idea, I could've survived this. Yet for some reason, Amy looks more like a "you know what" than an innocent, physical-age boosted 12-year-old (look it up). And what's with the mummification? I guess they're going for a "rebels" thing to make them look more rough than usual and make you take them more seriously (they're not meant to be taken seriously, just wait for it), but why are their SHOES wrapped? Why are Sonic's GLOVED hands wrapped? "Bandages" doesn't always mean "cool", you know!
I rest my case.
Also, why did buffing up Knuckles mean starving Sonic? The poor guy's anorexic! Sonic wasn't chubby or anything, but by furry standards he was, like, fit or something. Here he looks like he was stretched torture style by two cars on opposite sides with chains. In fact, he looks like the skinny guy on the street who sold Knuckles his steroids!
The final straw was the preview. Watch it if you can:
Take a deep breath...okay, it's not THAT bad...okay, it is.
The action and the animation is lazy and poor. The humor is horrible. Why did Tails make a funny face if he was ABOUT TO DIE, and why didn't Sonic use his spin-dash instead of pulling a TARZAN with a tazer? I know it's a preview, but previews are meant to either hype you up or mystify you. This made me evaporate with disappointment. I hope it'll get better.
Oh, yeah, and Sonic's voice actor sucks. Wherever the dude who voices him in the games is better take the money and shut up because he is needed right now. He's like the only guy who can get it right. For some reason, people have been seeing Sonic and thinking "squeaky" or "puberty cracking" (okay, that last one is new. Did you here him?! GOD!), but whoever he is in the games gets it just right, a little between "I'm twenty-years old" deep and "I'm a kid at heart" high...wait, what? Say that again? BLASPHEMY! For the last most recent Sonic games, the voice actor for Sonic in them was...the same guy here! How is that possible?
Well, I went through a few stuff and saw that around the time "Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing" came out, Sonic's voice actor took a swerve. Nowadays, if look at the credits of whatever, you'll find Roger Craig Smith voicing Sonic (Sonic Free Riders, Olympic Winter Games 2014, Sonic Generations for example). If you look at any time before that, you'll find Jason Griffith as Sonic. How did I not notice this? Well, the Smith guy started out when I stopped playing games that have Sonic in 'em. In fact, I actually got Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing (witch featured Jason Griffith), but by the time the other version of this game came out (there was demand for that? Really?), I was no longer interested. How convenient that that's when the voice actor changed to the new guy! It's weird, though, 'cause it's like every Sonic featuring game I have has gotten a sequel and a new voice actor, both of which didn't tickle my fancy (did I use that right?). Sonic Riders and Sonic Riders Zero Gravity (both of which I played and loved) featured Griffith, while Sonic Free Riders (which I never played) literally featured Smith. Guess who voiced Sonic in Smash Bros. (the Wii one)? Griffith, played it, loved it. Guess who's voicing him in the new Smash Bros.? Hasn't been revealed yet, but my money's on Smith (guess who's not getting a Wii-U?).
It's like they know. They're after me, and possibly others, and they want us out. Even here, in Sonic Boom, they've got the Smith guy, and I'm not sure I'm gonna watch this show (I've give the first ep a shot, but that preview above is not helping). We won't let them break us, though! Keep Sonic the way he is! BRING BACK GRIFFITH! LONG LIVE GRIFFITH (not Andy, I didn't know him that well)!
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